My grandmother’s perfect, as far as grandmothers go. She brings the generations together as often as possible, remembers our birthdays and somehow we all feel loved even though we’re so many.

She’s the last person I’d ever want to hurt.

Lunch was over, and a steaming dessert was brought out in her loving hands.

“I hope you can eat this, Ali.” I felt a little singled out from my fifteen or so uncles, aunties and cousins.

“Does it have butter or eggs?” I had to ask.

The nurturing lady I have come to deeply respect at this point literally drops the dish on the table.

My non-compliance with family tradition was a problem. I felt very, very distant.

Thankfully though these occasions are rare.

So what had changed in the three years since I hoed down a glass of gelatin just to keep my grandmother happy? Why did I finally decide to stick to my guns? And did I feel better about it?

Definitely. But I could have handled it better.

Being vegan is a positive change. Full stop.

It embraces the highest principles of health, ecology, economy, compassion, peace and nobility.

It is the trend. More people are adopting a vegan lifestyle than dropping it. And it is the future – if we’re going to have one worth speaking of.

If you’re vegan know by now that even (or especially) those closest to you may not all understand your desire to be so.

It takes us by surprise every time. The people we’d most expect to accept feel threatened, perhaps even hurt.

Our choice implies disapproval of their lifestyles. It’s like we are leaving them behind.  There’s a lot more tied into what we eat than the food itself.

If your grandmother drops the dessert in frustrated disapproval, you’ll be surprised. Or maybe not.

Depending on your nature, the little red guy on your shoulder will be reaching for his guns and shouting for ammo. My guy’s muscly and glowing.

There’s no need for that though. Put yourself in your dear grandmother’s shoes. She doesn’t have a clue why veganism is good. She thinks the future is made of meat.

She loves you in her way and being old and wise she knows how important rituals like meals are to a functional family.

If I could go back to this place and time I would quietly say to G’ma, after lunch something like this:

“You know I’m really sorry g’ma I can’t eat your dessert! I know how important this lunch is. But I made it! And I’ll make every lunch or dinner I can from now till the end of time! Don’t’ worry about me – I feel great eating the way I do. Next time just cook what you like and don’t think about me. I come for you, I don’t need the draw card anymore!”

You’ll tell your friends and family what you eat and they’ll try to cater for you, and they WILL get it wrong unless you write down what veganism means.

Don’t eat what you don’t want to but take the opportunity to turn a potential emotional cold age into a golden age.

Stick to your guns but be nice about it – use opportunities like these to tell your close ones how you just like them – regardless of what anyone’s eating.